


want you to be happy

by TolkienGirl



Series: Vintage Winchesters: Season 1 Tags [19]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean wants the best for Sam, Episode: s01e19 Provenance, F/M, Gen, POV Dean Winchester, The last bit of almost-fluff before the end, as we know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:28:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27760780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TolkienGirl/pseuds/TolkienGirl
Summary: One of his less savory talents is turning the burner on guilt way down. It’s served him pretty well in twenty-seven years of life, except when it hasn’t. If he’s got Sam with him, as he presently does, he can manage. Can keep guilt to a flicker of flame; to a level of heat he can live with. Dad hasn’t texted; Sam hasn’t ranted about destiny lately.Dean almost takes a breath.
Relationships: Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, Sarah Blake/Sam Winchester
Series: Vintage Winchesters: Season 1 Tags [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1777720
Comments: 3
Kudos: 10





	want you to be happy

It’s been a comparatively lazy two weeks, spanning the middle of October. They left New York around Columbus Day, tangled with tourist traffic heading up from the Big Apple.

Outwardly, Dean cussed and bellyached. Nothing worse than a bunch of city-folk thinking they know how to drive when they don’t. Sam made appropriate noises of agreement, brow wrinkled in thoughts shuttered from Dean’s eyes, nose buried in a map.

Good thing Sam couldn’t see Dean’s thoughts, either, because Dean was toying with the idea of suggesting some touristy shit himself. There was nowhere like Vermont for striations of maple and oak in full color, nowhere like Maine for wild ocean winds bringing winter on their wings. But escaping like that was a pipedream. More than that, it was a little too disrespectful to The Cause, even without Dad looking over his shoulder.

So he let Sam chew the map up and spit it out again, so to speak, and find them another hunt with his endless Internet-surfing. There was a maybe-selkie near Lake Michigan to draw them from New York and Sarah. It turned out to be nothing.

And then…well, Dean’s been driving easy, heading steadily but not swiftly west. Ready to turn around at Sam’s drop of the hat. Ready, if Dad texts, but not…not straining for it.

One of his less savory talents is turning the burner on guilt way down. It’s served him pretty well in twenty-seven years of life, except when it hasn’t. If he’s got Sam with him, as he presently does, he can manage. Can keep guilt to a flicker of flame; to a level of heat he can live with. Dad _hasn’t_ texted; Sam _hasn’t_ ranted about destiny lately.

Dean almost takes a breath.

He doesn’t dream like Sam dreams. Sure, every time they’re in the Midwest, he starts seeing the past out of the corners of his eyes; thinking Kansas, thinking Mom, thinking _what could have been_.

If he was alone, it'd kill him. Since he’s not, it’s just a dull ache, a wound he can keep from pressing on as long as Sam’s sleeping through the night, bitching about diner food, puffing his bangs out of his eyes instead of getting a haircut like an adult.

 _That’s my boy_ , he said, when Sam kissed Sarah. No offense intended to Jess. Jess, if Dean had known her, would have been a friend.

How can he not love someone who loves Sam?

‘Course, Jess has nothing to do with the Midwest. But they’re sunset-facing, and what guilt Dean can’t tamp down, burns in her direction.

Postcards to a girl he’ll never know.

 _He’s doing just fine_ , Dean writes, silent, over the radio hum. _For now, he’s doing just fine._

Soon, Dad is going to send them more coordinates. Sam is going to simmer, before he inevitably explodes. It’s what they do. Maybe they’ll come together, and Dean can die happy. Can light the night with his hunter’s funeral, never alone again.


End file.
